Saving you. Saving myself.

(An old post)

When I get down and lonely, I couldn't think of anything else but all the lies and the cheating that happened.

I knew from the very start that you were not over her yet.

Thus, I tried my best to show you that you can be happy with me.

That you can feel "loved" again.

So what I did was shower you with love and affection, the way I would normally do to the person I love.

I've told you about how much I believe in love. Too much that I would give up everything, gamble anything I have even if I know I would just get hurt in the end.

Oh yeah, sure you may say you've never asked for this from me. And I am sorry for caring too much about you that I had set aside my own pride just to see you smile.

When I saw you the first time, under the stars and the moonlight, I told myself that I wish to make you feel better and be happy.

All these shit didn't matter.
Saving you was my purpose.
But I need to save myself from you.