Take It With The Pain

Maybe I am addicted to pain.
Maybe I like getting hurt as much as being happy.

Maybe we all need to know how to get hurt, to know and appreciate being the joy and elation.

I saw my ex' post in Instagram, kissing another person - she hid the person very well with picture stickers.
She seemed very happy.

How the hell did she got their first?
I was cringing.
There monster in my stomach is back.
I was so green.

I hate this feeling.
Good thing my sister was there that night.
I went up to her and I burst my tears on her shoulder.

Few days before this shit, I went out to see our common friend and I was just telling her that I have always loved my ex and I would have chosen to get back together. But she said, love is not enough. I thought to myself that maybe this time, love is not enough. It used to be enough for me.
But she's happy now, kissing and posting another person in IG.

You can't have everything, really.

Love Language Personal Profile

Your Love Language Personal Profile
Lane, thank you for filling out the Love Language Profile for Singles to discover your love language. You’ve taken an important first step . . . understanding your love language. What follows is just the tip of the iceberg. To really understand your love language and how it affects your relationships, we recommend reading The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition. It will help you unpack all the concepts we touch on here.

Interpreting and Using Your Profile Score:

The highest score indicates your primary love language - how you really understand the expressions of love from others. It’s common to have two high scores (the highest score being 12), although one language tends to have a slight edge for most people. The lower scores in your profile indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you on an emotional level in your relationships.

8 Acts of Service
8 Quality Time
6 Receiving Gifts
6 Words of Affirmation
2 Physical Touch




Acts of Service
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

Quality Time
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else's love and affection for you.

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.


Understand your love language

Remember - this description just scratches the surface of one love language. There’s much more to help you really understand the love languages of you and others in Dr. Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition.
 
Not what you expected?
If the results don’t seem right, here are three other approaches to discovering your love language:
• First, observe how you most often express love to others. If you are regularly doing acts of service for others, this may be your love language. If you are consistently, verbally affirming people, then Words of Affirmation is likely your love language.
• What do you complain about most often? When a loved one says Happy Birthday and you respond, “You didn't get me anything?!” you are indicating that Receiving Gifts is your language. The statement, “We don’t ever spend time together,” indicates the love language of Quality Time. Your complaints reveal your inner desires. (If you have difficulty remembering what you complain about most often, I suggest that you ask a friend or family member. Chances are they will know.)
• What do you request of others most often? If you are saying “Did I do a good job?” you are asking for Words of Affirmation. “Do you think we could hangout this weekend?” is a request for Quality Time. “Would it be possible for you to mow the grass this afternoon?” expresses your desire for Acts of Service.

Improve all your relationships

If you have not already done so, encourage your friends and loved ones to take the the Love Language Profile. Discuss your respective love languages, and use this insight to improve all your relationships!

Deville's Kiss

Cool wind blowing on my skin. I needed warmth.

I watched as he quietly played with the street cat with his hands. 

Gentle and playful. His long fingers caressing the furry creature. 

I felt a little warmth inside me. But the wind blew colder.

I wondered how those fingers would feel if it touched me that way. 

The feline seems to agree with what I was thinking, as it brushed its head some more on to his arms.

I told him I felt cold, and I made my way to get near him.
I couldn't take it anymore. The heat emerging from his body without touching felt empty.
I needed the human touch. I was a little envious with what he was doing to the cat.

His tempting eyes. His broad shoulders. The arms that seemed so strong. And his hands...

I don't remember how, but we were then holding hands.
I pulled away to see if he would want to have it back, and he did.

I didn't want to get too obvious, but I was longing that he would pull me in closer. Near to where I can hear his heart beat so that I can try to read what he doesn't say.
I looked for other signs and non-verbal cues, but all I saw was a poker face staring back at me.

While we walked, he said "this will be a great spot for our first kiss," as he referred to the X-mark on the road intersection. I rolled my eyes at him and said, "not gonna happen". But it did after a few blocks. At an inconvenient location. I pulled him in and smack my lips into his and then pushed him away.

He said, "that wasn't a kiss. That was an assault on the lips" as he pulled me in, and I gave in to the idea of kissing.
He cupped my face and he slowly moved in to my personal space. I felt his breath came closer to my face.

He. Kissed. Me.

And it felt warmer than ever.

Perfectly Broken Conquest

Love goggles: ON.

Clouded judgement.

You don't actually remember what they look like, but you just remember their glow. Their smile. The way their skin felt on your skin. We only see certain parts of them, and those parts are all roses.

Love is addicting, like alcohol and marijuana. It increases our threshold for pain, leading us to believe that things are different than they are.

Why do I easily fall in love? Is it because I can see the goodness in people?
I can see the goodness of a person, and I would I love them. I tend to accept everything that they are, no matter how ugly their soul is.

My friends say my judgement is impaired, and I'm over forgiving. I say they may be right.

My inhibitions are down, and I expose sides of my self that should be kept private at an early stage of dating.

Why do I do this? I don't know. But what I know is that, man is not always evil.
I know that deep down their evilness, there is still a tiny bit of goodness in him. That tiny bit of spark.
That behind the cockiness, rudeness, manipulative behavior, he still hopes for something good.

The ever hopeful me. Hah. This gets me into trouble all the time.

I guess, we all look for someone who we think is the perfect person for us. That perfect date. That perfect night. that perfect kiss.

But why are relationship lines get blurrier than ever?

Why are there more people hooking up and not choose to be committed?

 I guess, it's because “Why buy the cow, when you get the milk free?”

Pull Back Always

Reminder to self to always pull back and pull away so he will always chase you.

Pulling back means you allow him to miss you and to keep him interested.

Give him some distance and space to work with.
Never chase him.

Never make demands of what you want from him or he will run away.

Allow him to realize your value.
Make him work for the prize - YOU!

Show him that you are not an easy of a prize to achieve. Be the challenge.

You are the one doing the choosing.

Pretend that you are not interested while your heart is actually fluttering and you're secretly concerned that he may actually hear your heart beat.

Do not be easily impressed.

Look at this as a chance to find out if he really is the guy you want to get to know better.

Be who you really are, which is a woman who finds him attractive on the surface, but needs to finds out more to be truly convinced that he's right for you.

Rose Tinted Glasses

Why do I find it easy to fall in love?

One fine day, I met a guy that I couldn't believe I would actually like.
I couldn't say it was physical attraction because he was not my type at all.

He's tall, alright. His physique is nice too, but it was never a factor I always consider.

I usually go for someone who I think I would look good with, or someone who my folks would approve of. But I gave it a shot to get to know him, and indulge in a sweet spontaneous night.

It was very simple. Coffee. Long walk. And I should say, one of the most decent conversations I've had with someone for a reasonably long time. Like an old fashion way of getting to know someone outside phone calls and text messages. It was a long decent conversation.

I never thought I would experience it again after high school. Someone from the neighbor all-boys school would be waiting by my school entrance, ready to walk me home. We would have a nice chat while having Zagu and our hands holding each other. *Sigh*

So, this guy... He let me talk like he wanted to get to know me more. I wasn't completely interested at first with what he had to say, so I didn't dig into further details (knowing how I am like!) But he did mention a few things about himself along the way, and I actually enjoyed knowing more about him.

I feel like there's so much mystery in him that I have yet to unravel.

It was as if he was romantic. He brought me along sea-side where we found peace and comfortable place to stay. And it seemed like there was no one else in that place but us (although there was a live band playing).

I especially like his intellect. That he questions me with a lot of things. He speaks his mind. And he did not let the moment pass us by.

Moments passed and I was enjoying his warmth beside me. We even held hands like we already knew each other for a long time. *Am I dreaming?*

We walked some more and found a X-mark on the road - the intersection mark. He said, "this would be a great spot for a first kiss". He indulged me more by saying, "you know what they say about first kiss? It would give you the warmest feeling. So if you are feeling cold. . ." He would pull me in, and I would always look away and said "It's not gonna happen!". Until I finally gave in and pulled him in, and assaulted my lips with his. *Hahahaha* He said, "well, that's not the way to kiss." And then he gave me, one of the most decent, road-wide-open-underneath-the-stars and moon-kind of  kiss I have ever had in my life.


I guess it was that reason why I had allowed myself to have him take me home---to his place!

La Vie En Rose was played on the Ukelele. And with that, I was smitten by his charm.
He's a musician. I couldn't believe how passionate he was with music that he knows how to play several instruments.
He said he liked me. And I am just too obvious.
He said the right words at the right time. And it felt as if he knows how to treat a woman real good. He held me the right way.

All those things mattered.
And I think I am not gonna be satisfied with just being friends.
I wanted more of him.

My friends told me they don't like him for me.
Others said, just give it some time.

I am trying my best not to fall in love first.
I think I love him for everything that he is. For everything that he had done and made me feel.

Is that enough?

I care for him. I started thinking about him, and he was never out of my mind since.
I'm at the point where in I think I can give anything to him. Accept everything that he is now, and what I might still discover about him.

I am dreaming.
I am  drowning with the thoughts of him.

I have lost my mind again.
I need to know where this is going. Or maybe I already know, coz he already told me that he wasn't ready.
But there are so many things I still want to do with him. That maybe we both deserve to know and understand why we have even met in the first place.

I want to be the center of his life and I want him to own me.



I really don't know why I feel this way for him. There were other options. But I just think he might be the one.

You will be loved.

You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be loved.

You deserve to smile and laugh so hard your cheeks will hurt.


Your hand will always feel warm for her when she hold your hand.

She will need your arms wrapped around her.


She who loves you will love you for who you are, and you will feel special. Extremely special that you might say it's too good to be true. Extremely special that you might neglect her in the end.

She will love you with all her heart. She will love you above everything and anyone else. She will love you and may not have time for herself at all, because she will serve you with best of her abilities.

She will trust you with all her life because you are exceptionally important to her life.

She will find you amazing in every way. Every little way. Every little thing you do will always make sense to her. Every little thing you'll do will be magic.

She who loves you will always cherish that you are alive, and be thankful she met you.

You deserve to be celebrated.

Saving you. Saving myself.

(An old post)

When I get down and lonely, I couldn't think of anything else but all the lies and the cheating that happened.

I knew from the very start that you were not over her yet.

Thus, I tried my best to show you that you can be happy with me.

That you can feel "loved" again.

So what I did was shower you with love and affection, the way I would normally do to the person I love.

I've told you about how much I believe in love. Too much that I would give up everything, gamble anything I have even if I know I would just get hurt in the end.

Oh yeah, sure you may say you've never asked for this from me. And I am sorry for caring too much about you that I had set aside my own pride just to see you smile.

When I saw you the first time, under the stars and the moonlight, I told myself that I wish to make you feel better and be happy.

All these shit didn't matter.
Saving you was my purpose.
But I need to save myself from you.

Betch Slap!

Bitchology.

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a Bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a Bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a Bitch.

Being a bitch means I wont compromise what's in my heart.

It means I live my live MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to steps on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I should be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.

I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stop on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it!
I embrace the title and I am proud to bear it.

Beats 2

Here's my answer to the question: Which do you prefer to have, the one who loves you, or the one you love. This is also for those who are waiting for the person they love to love them back openly, to those who are looking for love and those who know that their love is not meant to be.

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us.
We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds, and not for the man of words. For you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your soul.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving. It only means that you allow that person to find his won happiness without expecting him to come back.

Letting go is not just setting the other person free but it is also setting yourself from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith. And never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life, but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories
of the part but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful. And we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions..
You don't have to forget someone you love.
What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life. Be sensible, and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.


Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow.
If you lose love, that doesn't mean that you failed in love.
Cry if you have to. But make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you.
Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a life time.



People come in ourlives for a reason.
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with the guidance and support. To aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be. 
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to stand. 
What we must realize is that our needs has been met, our desires fulfilled, their work is done. 
The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it's time to move on.

People come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow and learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or may you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it is real, but only for a season.

LIFETIME relationship teaches you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. 

It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.

What He Wants

While I was lulling myself to sleep, everything I thought of what I was going to be was running in my head.

I know what he truly wants.

He wants a woman, not a girl.

A woman that he could call His. The Lover, Friend, Companion, Mate, Buddy.

A woman, not necessarily independent, who can stand on her own and can take care of herself.

A woman who knows that she is beautiful without constant reassurance from him that she truly is beautiful.

One who does not cry over petty things and would not need answer to stupid thoughts.

One who does not cry mind if he goes out with his friends, or family. And would allow him to have a separate world, because she too has her own life. She knows how to decide on her own.

A woman who can be childlike, crazy playing video games, but is also sexy and ladylike.

A woman who is honest and devoted.

Love that is nourished with understanding, long talks, long walks and planning.

Perhaps this woman may not be born yet. This is not even the exact description of me. But if he truly loves me, he would accept that there would be qualities that would deviate from what he truly wants. What he truly loves, would matter than what he may wanted to have.

Coffee and Cigarettes

- Michelle Featherstone

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say, it hasn't helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that, that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But its true, I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I thought that if I didn't go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn't go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But its true, I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But its true, I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you
I must quit, I must quit, you

Coffee and Cigarettes - Michelle Featherstone (YouTube)

"Cigarettes And Coffee"

- Otis Redding

It's early in the morning
About a quarter till three
I'm sittin' here talkin' with my baby
Over cigarettes and coffee, now
And to tell you that
Darling I've been so satisfied
Honey since I met you
Baby since I met you, ooh

All the places that I've been around
And all the good looking girls I've met
They just don't seem to fit in
Knowing this particularly sad, yeah

But it seemed so natural, darling
That you and I are here
Just talking over cigarettes and drinking coffee, ooh now

And whole my heart cries out
Love at last I've found you, ooh now
And honey won't you let me
Just be my whole life around you
And while I complete, I complete my whole life would be, yeah
If you would take things under consideration
And walk down this hour with me
And I would love it, yeah

People I say it's so early in the morning
Ou, it's a quarter till three
We're sittin' here talkin'
Over cigarettes and drinking coffee, now, lord
And I'll like to show you, well
I've known nothing but good old joy
Since I met you, darling
Honey since I've met you, baby yeah

I would love to have another drink of coffee, now
And please, darling, help me smoke this one more cigarette, now
I don't want no cream and sugar
'cause I've got you, now darling
But just let me enjoy
Help me to enjoy
This good time that we'll have, baby
It's so early, so early in the morning
So early, so early in the morning
And I've got you
And you've got me
And we'll have each other
And we don't, we don't want nothing but joy, y'all
Nothing but joy...

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding (YouTube)

Fly me to the moon

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you



Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words
I love ... you

My Dearest Future Boyfriend

November 9, 2014

1:22 AM

Hi! Hope is everything well with you.
I know I haven't met you yet, but I'll surely give this to you when we become a couple.
I'm writing this to you in advance to let you know that I have prepared myself to meet you, to get to know you and to love you.
There's probably a wonderful, amazing reason why we've met in the first place and that we've decided to take it to the next level.
I'm so happy that I have finally met you. I have been waiting for so long to feel this feeling again. And I'm very glad that you came into my life and you felt that I am someone you want to love too.
I've had great deals of failures and heartbreaks that would have made me who I am right now. And as early as now, I would like to thank you for accepting me for who I am, for what my failures had made me.

My dear future boyfriend, I promise to love you and take care of you and what we have right now. And I sure hope that you will also do the same. Promise me that you will love me everyday, and that you will always be honest with me, no matter how bad your news is. Promise me that you will always be a friend and a lover at the same time, and I shall do the same. Promise that you will take good care of my heart as if it were your own. Promise me that you will always fight for love, forgive and be fair all the time. Treat me with respect and you shall be given the same. Promise that you  will always work things out together. And I shall be your strength if you can no longer handle life's challenges.
We shall teach and make each other want to become a better person, a better version of ourselves.

My heart is now yours to keep.

There will always be pain and sacrifices that we would need to endure, and I need you to endure this with me together.

I might need you...badly!
I might be clingy.
I might have extreme mood swings...but I am telling you now, tampururot lang ito.
I might need your warmth, 'coz I always feel cold..
I will always need your kisses. On best days, and especially on worst days.
I might not be what you want me to be like all the time...

But I do promise you this,
I want to make you happy.
And I will do the best I can to make you  be the happiest man you'll ever be.

My darling love, there will be events that loving and staying together will be very difficult. Please work things out with me and I shall do the same. I will always choose you. I will always choose us.

May God protect us and guide us to everlasting.

Yours Truly,
X

Finding Neverland

It's so darn hard to find someone I truly like.
It used to be easy. Real easy.
It used to be easy to find someone to be in a relationship with.
Younger years.

Now I think, most guys are as picky as most girls. And those who want/need fulfillment with their bodies resort to one night stands, FuBus or friends with benefits, and flings - No Commitment Rule.

Me? I can't be too picky. I can't dream of someone who looks like Leonardo DiCaprio.


I could name a few things in my standards.
He must be taller than me, enough that I could wear heels. Not thin and definitely, not suuuuper thin!
Must have a job. Must speak English (or French). *LoL*

Must have good teeth.
Must have any artsy fartsy inclination. Music. Arts.

Must not be super picky, or pickier than me.
Must believe in marriage and family.
Must know how and/or try to get along with different kinds of people (my friends).
Must be able to make me smile... and laugh!

Must have a distinctive manliness. And a sense of authority. Oh gawsh, how attractive that would be!
A man who understand the need of reviving chivalry.

And someone who looooves to dine and drink.

What gives?

No matter how forgiving and understanding I am, I still don't want to settle for anything less.

He has to be the BEST.

If at first you don't seem to pass my standards, I would still give you a chance to prove yourself worthy.

You might just win me over with your personality.


I have long forgotten how "sparks fly" feels like.

Where is he?

This will not make sense

Your patient dies alone, and the love of his life is in the next room, suffering from another illness - and she doesn't know he's dead.

What should you do?
What should you have done??

People nowadays are so picky, And I am not an exception to this.
But if you open yourself to indulge in to something you seldom do, then you might, YOU JUST MIGHT get LUCKY.


~~~~
Love is the greatest gift I could ever give.
And now that my heart has been fully healed from the previous battle, I wish to submerge myself in an ocean full of love... give it to someone who would never let my love fountain dry.
But it's hard, right?
Hard to find the person who you can be yourself with. Hard to find someone who would look good with. But the hardest of all, is to find that person who will love you and stay with you when all else fails.

The Agape

Love?
Do we have to love someone only when it makes sense?

Would you allow yourself to fall even if you are not sure that the person will love you back?

Would you wait for the person to love you back eventually?


So many heartaches and heartbreaks. But after all those, why am I still equipped to love?

Love is so powerful that it could wash away all the previous pain, could immediately bring you back to pieces, could make you feel like you are the luckiest person on Earth.

Wow. Love.

I want to immerse myself in the lovelovelove feeling, but I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

Good friends, romantic novels, love-themed movies, love songs and the bible remind me that love will come around at the right moment. And if it does, never hesitate, because it seldom comes. If it's bound to happen, it will.

Beats

Sweet fortuitous miracle...

the joy that seemed to

steal my breath forever

and the knowing-I-must-have

   or I would perish

I could have willed it so

   with my arts, but was too dazzled,

      unthinkingly...

Fireflies and Butterflies

                          flowers and candles

                                  Nectar and wax

                        Pollen and spark

                             Oracle and the Fairy

                                     Spring and Fall

                                          Sun and the Moon                

                             but...                                        

                         lilies and lotuses

                             gorgeous and beautiful

            oranges and lemons

                    essence and meaning

                            mountain and valleys

              delirious and euphoric

                                ocean and sea

                       victory and success

                                   love and trust

                happiness and perfection

                                    life... incomparable


Dec 27, 2005

Suspended.

Two people meet up.

Long walks.
Natters by the sea shore.

Dark is the night and cold is the ground,
underneath the stars and fullness of the moon.

He held her hand.
She smiled ever so sweetly.

He made her laugh.
Her eyes sparkled.

He wants to kiss.
She wants to kiss, but wonders if it is too early.

Spontaneous night.

He subtly invited her to go to his place.
She wants to know him more.

He played La Vie En Rose on the Ukulele.
Her heart skipped a beat.

They kissed and kissed some more.

She realized the intention and she wanted more.

He held her like she is his.

And she was so eager.

But then he is was not ready.

Love Save The Empty

Little girls don't know how to be sweet girls.
Mama didn't teach me.
Little boys don't know how to treat little girls.
Daddy didn't show me.

Face down, on top of your bed.
Oh why did I give it up to you?
Is this how I shoot myself up high,
Just high enough to get through?

Again, the false affection.
Again, we break down inside.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty, and save me.

Sad boy, you stare up at the sky
When no one's looking back at you.
You wear your every last disguise;
You're flying, then you fall through.

Again, the false attention.
Again, you're breaking inside.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty, save me.
Love save the empty.
Love save the empty.

Stars feel like knives,
They tell us why we're fighting.
Storm, wait outside.
Oh, love, hold us together.

Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty.
Love, save the empty, and save me.
And save me.

Song byErin McCarley

The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

You make my heart have premature ventricular contractions.



Passion according to Google, is a strong and barely controllable emotion; a thing arousing enthusias; a state or outburst of strong emotion; and an intense desire or enthusiasm for something.

If there's one thing that I believe I am passionate about, it would be love.

I love the state of being in love.
I love falling in love.

I love the happiness it brings, and it might be hard to admit that I might also love the pain that it brings.

Love is suffering. Love is excitement. Love is forgiving. Love is an extreme emotion. Love is crazy.

Love is a feeling. Love is a state of emotion so powerful it can move mountains and cross the sea.

 Love is fighting hard for what your heart desires. Love is keeping it silent and controlling your self.

Love is believing. Love is persistence. Love is hoping. Love is enduring the pain.